Downhill Ride........

Oh hello.... I guess, its been a while since I put something on here.... well.... there wasn't much to put on the past weeks.... those weeks weren't very good.... a downhill ride all the way.... where are the ups? Have I been experiencing too much ups till there is no more? I do need some or any there is left of it now.... do you have any to spare?

Debates, battles, argues, opinions, thoughts..... all happening in me and still is now.... there is no matter of who/what is right and who/what is wrong..... its just who is winning more now....... and the one who is winning more now is giving me the lows..... is it wrong? no, if you listen to it properly it is right, and eventually I will have to be consent with it..... will I?..... should I be reverting back to..... to where I keep telling myself its ok, it doesn't matter and be content with what I am living in..... cause you are happy when its this way...... lies we keep telling ourselves..... cause we want to believe in them...... is what I am feeling now? the part where I slam myself into the brick wall of reality because those lies, believes, words could comfort me no longer?... but we know there is always an alternate reality.... the wall changes shape.... should I keep telling myself its fine and its ok?..... but that would not solve it, won't it?..... cause then there is still the side telling you its never ok, its never fine!..... which side are you on?... what do you want to believe in.... which do you trust more, the world that is laid out within your eyes or your mind which tells you what is beyond your eyes?.... but eventually, nobody wins forever.....

for now..... the battle continues........